I woke up this morning to some very sad news: Sophie Anderson died this week.

I am going to guess that 90% of you do not know who she was, which makes sense - she occupied a fairly small niche of the internet, and most of the content she produced was not something that could be opened in public.

Like most of the internet, I first became aware of Sophie from her viral video “Cock Destroyers,” filmed with her friend and fellow pornographic actress Rebecca More. In the video - an ad for their OnlyFans accounts - the two women dub themselves “cock destroyers,” discuss their upcoming orgies, and intermittently make out.

The video is linked below if you’d like to watch it (note: it contains graphic dialogue and skimpy lingerie, but no actual nudity). While extremely vulgar, I do think it’s worth watching for cultural literacy, but I’ll leave it up to you. (Note: none of the link in this piece are actual pornography, but probably still should not be watched in public.)

https://twitter.com/rebeccamoreuk/status/1047074851993866240

The video spread like wildfire on twitter, particularly among gay men, and rocketed the pair to fame basically overnight. The video is wildly campy; so sexual that it’s ludicrous, and so ludicrous that it stops feeling sexual. The two naturally have great comedic timing, too, which should not be discounted. While Rebecca (who begins the video) is pretty and well-endowed, Sophie is impossible to forget, with an absolutely filthy Bristol accent, giant puffy lips, and fake breasts that are literally the size of bowling balls.

In no time, the two formally adopted the moniker “The Cock Destroyers,” began making appearances at drag shows, started a line of clothing, and had a cameo in a period piece gay porn flick.

This is how virality generally works on the internet, but what I found especially impressive in this instance is that the pair remained in the zeitgeist for some time. It would have been extremely easy for them to become milkshake ducks, particularly considering their line of work, but they never did (at least to my knowledge). Indeed, they took to queer fame extraordinarily well, which I attribute to their genuine love for their fans, incredibly memeable videos, great senses of humor, leftist-leaning political views, and willingness to roll with the punches. They continually spoke out in support of sex education and trans rights.

Following Sophie on twitter was a roller coaster: I loved her, I wanted to support her, and many of her videos brought me joy… but sometimes I would open twitter at a Starbucks and see a woman with terrifyingly huge bazongas doing truly unspeakable things. But it was worth it to watch her try to get her music career off the ground:

https://twitter.com/SophieASlut/status/1110242579399016448?lang=en

(She later turned this into a dance track, but I think it’s impossible to top the original.)

Rebecca was happy to join along for the ride, and I think they both were at their funniest when together. Rebecca compiled a supercut of some of their best moments in remembrance, which I really loved:

But to me, at least, never exhibited the joie de vivre that Sophie did. There was a spark in Sophie that’s uncommon online, to say nothing of the porn world.

And that’s the reason I find myself writing this eulogy. I never met Sophie Anderson, I know relatively little about her, and we only interacted on twitter once (me fangirling, her sending a little “thanks x” in response). But I don’t think I’ve ever followed anyone who seemed to love life as much as she did.

As much as I think she was a brilliant comedian (both physical and verbal), I particularly loved Sophie’s motivational videos. I’m not going to detail the struggles she encountered in this newsletter - it feels like a lot for a Tuesday morning - but suffice it to say that the woman has had an extremely hard life. I have so much respect for people who endure great hardship, and do not become embittered to the world.

I also thought she offered genuinely good advice. In this video, she recommends taking 5 minutes after you wake up to breathe and drink coffee, before looking at your phone. It seems so simple to not start your day by staring at a screen, and yet I’ve never heard anyone else give this advice.

Rewatching many of her videos (and yes, it’s very risky to go through her media category at the coffee shop I’m currently seated at), I will say that most of her advice is not novel. She loved universal, simple, children’s book themes - loving yourself, keeping your chin high, starting your day with positivity - but I think what sets her apart from the pack is that there is a sweetness, a goodness, and a genuine love that shines through. When she says “everything is going to be alright, babes,” I believe her, the same way I take all of Dolly Parton’s advice as gospel (I am starting to think that if god does exist, she will be a blonde with massive fake melons).

There are so many beautiful quotes by poets, singers, and other masters of the written word. But in my personal experience, I find that those rarely help when times are rough. What you usually need is a loved one to say “I’m sorry you’re hurting,” and give you a hug. I think that’s why Sophie stood out to me - her words felt warm, and broke through the cold, fake motivation so common on the internet. When she said she loved her fans, I believed her.

Additionally, she was remarkably transparent for a pornstar/influencer. She often made videos without her hair and makeup done, she made videos about being sad (uncommon on pornography twitters), and - most remarkably - catalogued the gruesome process of one of her breasts bursting, and the medical nightmares that followed. I can’t say that I recommend looking it up - it really was horrifying - but I do respect her openness about it, especially at the cost of her follower count.

I understand that there is a lot of death and sadness in the world right now, and that a pornstar known predominantly as a “cock destroyer” hardly seems like the most deserving person of a eulogy. But I also feel that to let Sophie Anderson fade away into the abyss would be a disservice to the world.

I understand that my love of her may not be universal, and I won’t begrudge you if none of this resonates. But if you immediately discounted what she might have to offer based on how she looked and talked, I would encourage you to question who you believe is worthy of respect, and who you think is “allowed” to be wise.

Here is my eulogy for her.

Sophie Anderson died at the age of young age of 36, or at least that is what the internet has told me. She will be remembered for her many contributions to the meme world, the silicone on the outside of her chest, and the love inside of it. She dreamt of one day retiring in Portugal, and loved her cat very dearly. In a world that sometimes feels impossibly dark, she was devoted to being a shining light. Rest in Peace, Sophie. We will not forget you.

I will end with a quote of hers, which I hope you will join me in taking on as a pledge:

“There are many things that I hate in this world. And I will fight to protect the weak.”

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